Follow Up to my Last Post

So after reading your guys' awesome comments to my last post, I realized I actually am armed with the answers to most of my questions.

I've thought a lot about how I'll talk with my kids about porn.  I don't know specifics yet, but I think I've already started to lay some of the groundwork for these conversations, and I do know that my single greatest weapon against porn in their lives is talking. My parents talked to us about everything and anything.  When our friends had questions about sex or related stuffs, they'd send my sister and I to go ask our parents.  I love them for that.  When my brother was 16 he came in to my parents room and said, "I was on the computer, porn came up and before I knew it I'd been looking at it for 40 minutes.  I need you to change the parental controls and password, and I'll let you know if it happens again."

That is the trusting, loving conversational foundation I want for my kids' and my relationships.
 
On the flip side, when my husband was 14 years old, he'd found a porn video that one of brothers had under his bed -- at this point he'd been exposed to this kinda stuff for years, but was still trying to fight it.  He took the video outside and threw it in the trash.  An hour later, his curiosity got the best of him and he went and grabbed it out of the trash to watch it -- while walking back into the house, he got caught by his Dad.  My father in law took the video from him and said, "We don't ever look at stuff like this," and walked back outside to throw it away again. And that is the ONLY. THING. HE. EVER. SAID to his any of three boys about sex, porn, masturbation, etc.  Three teenagers, one of which he'd just caught red-handed INSIDE HIS HOUSE with a PORN VIDEO and never another word to any of them.  Not even a basic sex talk.  I'm not blaming my in-laws (I try not to, at least, it's something I'm working on!), it was a different time and they didn't 'get' what they were up against, but compared to my relationship with my parents I was so SHOCKED and hurt for J when I first heard that story when we were in counseling.

I know that a completely open and welcoming conversational environment with my kids will be key.  Our best defense.  One thing I've learned about porn is it sure loves it's secrecy; so open, honest communication will make a world of difference, letting light into the darkest corners so nothing can hide.

From rereading my post and your comments, I realize my real issues is this: what I don't know how to do is keep my children from being negatively affected by it . . . how do I keep my daughters from being objectified or victimized or lied to?  How do I keep it out of the lives of those they surround themselves with?

Here's the plan you guys -- my daughters are 6 and 4.  I'll start raising them in open, loving, nurturing environments where they're bursting with self-esteem and taught that sex is beautiful and good when kept within sacred confines; you guys start teaching your 2-11 year old boys that women are worthy of respect and should be treated as daughters of God and to avoid porn like the plague -- and we'll iron out all the details of their arranged marriages later on. :-)